Monday, October 22, 2012

Living (and Losing) in the Crazy Bohemian Life

Once again, it has been a long while since I've been on the blog to update you all on this crazy, bohemian life of mine. But I had to get back here; I had to get back to all my online work...
In the past few weeks I have received several emails, youtube messages, etc. from people all over the world who want to talk with me about my online writing, living the bohemian life, & how they can embrace a lifestyle & attitude like mine as their own. It's made me realize again just how important my online work is to me... I want to help people. I want to show that being a hippie, bohemian, free-spirit can be a positive thing. I want to spread peace & love to the world. And, on the selfish end, I want people to know me, see me, share in my love of art & music & creativity & innovation, & truly know me. Even if I am a stranger, I want the world to know my heart.

So here I am...

Why have I been away so long? Well, to be honest, I have let the demands of the "real world" take control of my life. Working two "real" jobs in addition to my writing & music, working 17-20 hours some days, & just basically working, working, working. This is not entirely a bad thing, as I have been building a brighter future financially, but it is a bad thing in the sense that I have not had as much time for my creative endeavors. But that is about to change, because if I keep my creative side restricted for too long I'll self-destruct in some way. I know this about myself.

So I am going to limit how much I work at my "real" jobs & focus more time on the following:

1. Finishing my Sci-Fi novel, "Alpha 7"
2. Finishing & publishing my second poetry book, "The Chaos that is Living"
3. Recording some music!!!
4. Writing more lists for List My Five
5. Updating the blogs
6. Writing more lenses on Squidoo
7. Helping others
8. Creating art

Not that I don't get satisfaction from my "real" jobs. They're good jobs. The first is as a line server at Qdoba. It's pretty awesome. I get to work with the public (which I love), I get to work with food (which I also love), & I get to work with some amazing people (who I definitely love.) The second is as a nanny. I work with two sweet little ones; teaching, playing, disciplining, inspiring, comforting... it is a true joy to me.  (I also still model, teach, & do extra work for movies & tv shows, just not as regularly.)

But "real" jobs cause me problems because I am not in full control of my destiny in a "real" job. How I do, how much I make, how far I advance, how I'm treated, & how much I am allowed to rock the boat are all determined by other people; higher ups, corporate big wigs, people in the right cliques... it frustrates me to no end. I NEED FREEDOM!

Maybe someday I will have all the freedom I need & I won't have to work "real" jobs anymore. That's the dream anyway...

 Before I go, I do want to share some sad news with you.

My sweet parakeet, Gumby, died recently. It was very sudden - he showed no signs of injury or illness.  He simply died, rather surprisingly, when I was gone at one of my jobs one day.

Gumby was a good bird. He  liked to sing with people, talk to birds outside, play birdie basketball & bowling, look at himself in mirrors, & fall asleep in shoes. He didn't bite, didn't scratch, & only made a fuss if you took him away from something he was enjoying. His favorite foods were millet, fresh lettuce, & honey treats. I called him my Gumby Goo & I loved him very much. I miss him a lot. So does Will. I think even the cats miss him. Ava & Zaneeta used to sit & watch Gumby, hang out with him, & occasionally get jealous of him if I paid him too much attention to him in front of them.  But they never hurt him; they never even tried to. And now, they look up at where his cage once sat with a strange cat version of sadness, disappointment, & confusion in their eyes... Sad.

We gave Gumby a funeral service of sorts out at my mom & dad's house & buried him next to my sweet Mya kitty & our doggies from when I was growing up, so at least we had some closure, & at least Gumby Goo has some great company.

But it is still so strange to be in our house & not hear Gumby's sweet songs drifting through the rooms...

I will be back soon. Very soon.
Peace & Love,