online writing, and I am able to actually have the time to seek other employment that is suitable for me. (Though... I am still not sure what kind of employment is suitable for me!)
Most importantly though, I am making sure that I am continuing to become a better person in 2011. And I'm starting close to home; with the people who I always seem to hurt the most: my family. In 2010, I missed birthdays, I cancelled things at the last minute, and I didn't communicate with my mom, dad, sister, and bro-in-law more than once a week sometimes. That is simply unacceptable!
My biggest problem is that I tend to give and give and give to friends and strangers and then there is simply not much left for my family, and this isn't fair. So I need to find some balance (something that is VERY hard for me.)
I am improving already though; I celebrated my mom's birthday with my whole family, I have talked to my mom and dad on the phone and in person several times, and I just went to a game night at my sister's house, hosted by her and my new bro-in-law. So.... it's progress.
Even though my family doesn't quite understand that I would rather live out of my car than move home (it's something about the crazy bohemian belief in freedom, creativity, and the "open spirit" I think) or that I don't want to work just for money but to feel empowered, creative, and fulfilled; or why exactly I dress the way I do; I know that my family loves me and I need to show them my love in return.
This does not mean that I am going to stop giving to friends and strangers. I couldn't stop that either! I am of the belief that I have a life mission to spread peace, love, and creativity to this world, so I cannot give up on that ever! Ever!!
So it comes back to balance. Perhaps if I get back into Pilates, I can find a little balance (and keep my bod smokin'!)
What else am I working on besides this "balance?" Well, I would like to see some of my art reach the world on a bigger scale. (My "art" being my writing, my music, my acting, modeling, and performing, and my actual art and arts and crafts.) How to do that is the next question!!
I mean... "art" is very important to a modern day hippie, bohemian, and/or free-spirit, and I am no exception to this. As Laren Stover said in Bohemian Manifesto: A Field Guide to Living on the Edge (this is NOT verbatim) bohemians want to be known for their work, for their "art," even if it is not until later in life or after death (though most want a bit of fame while they are young and really able to live it up and enjoy it!) I am not an exception to this either. From a young age I had dreams of fame. I wanted to be a country singer, then a Broadway star, then a top selling author, a poet, an artist, a pop singer, a model, an Oscar winner, a famous blogger, a world peacemaker, etc... the only "non-fame" role I have ever pursued was "teacher." But even teachers can go on to become famous! (Sheryl Crow and Tim Gunn anyone?)
So what am I really after here? Recognition for my art? Money? Fame? Acceptance? Peace and love? I think it may be a combination of all of the above.
So we'll see what 2011 has to offer this modern hippie, bohemian, free-spirit. Will I gain balance? Will I make a difference in the world? Will I become rich and famous and bigger than Justin Bieber? (Probably not...) We'll see...
Peace and Love,
By the way, speaking of Tim Gunn (as I did above)... I am reading Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Lessons for Making It Work and really enjoying it. His point of view is interesting, but actually pretty basic: people should be good to one another (and have good manners!) So if you're looking for another book to add to your reading list, I would suggest checking this one out.