My Hippie, Bohemian, Free-Spirit Life in 2013... a modern "La Boheme," "Rent," "American-poverty" (anti-) sob story about WRITING...

I don't do as much writing as I should. I say this, not because I'm not bringing in enough money writing (which I'm not) but more because I feel happier when I express myself and put it out there for the world to consume through their eyes, and I haven't been doing that as much lately!

But part of the reason I don't do as much writing as I should is because I live a very busy, sometimes chaotic existence between working odd jobs, nannying, singing, acting, modeling, doing promotional work, making art and arts and crafts, public speaking, and things going wrong left and right. I do seem to get kicked when I am down about 99% of the time, and I have to work harder and longer hours at more jobs to make less money than I would at one "GOOD" or "NORMAL" job. Ugghh...

Some say I bring it on myself, and that is slightly true.  I am a hippie, bohemian, free-spirit after all; I am a freelancer, an artist, a creative-type. I am not a 9-5, cubicle sitting, paper-pushing, follow someone else's orders all the time kind of person. Never have been, (pretty sure I) never will be. Not that I can't work for/with others. I can. I am just a person who needs a lot of flexibility, creative freedom, and honestly, the ability to do more than one thing. I have way too many ideas swirling around in my head to be tied down to one profession.

I am a hard worker (which seems to surprise some people who believe that all hippies are dirty and lazy) and I DO push myself to do a lot in a day. It's just that... where I am now, even what I AM doing isn't enough. It's not enough to feel satisfied, it is not enough to pay the bills... it's just not enough.

I look back at when I was a teacher and I cannot believe how different things are now. I was bringing in $1800 every two weeks at my first teaching job. Plus I had benefits, insurance, investments... My medical issues could be managed, if my car broke down, I could fix it, I never had a problem paying RENT... NOW, I am lucky to bring in $475-$575 a MONTH!! I'm not less of a hard worker, I am not less smart than I was (if anything I am wiser) and I always do quality work. But because I am a freelance creative spirit - a writer, actress, musician, model, artist, odd job Queen - I struggle. Because I am a hippie, bohemian, free-spirit below the poverty line - I struggle. Because I am a girl who grew up below the poverty line, "bettered herself" by going to college, and racked up over $30,000 in debt - I struggle. Because I am young and have EDS-hypermobility, CFS, Fibro., cysts, anxiety, bipolar, chronic UTIs, allergies, and a gluten-intolerance but "look fine" and have no insurance - I struggle.

I struggle! And when I struggle, I often end up making myself struggle more. I become my own worst enemy. I get bogged down by all the bad, and I work HARDER, not SMARTER... burning myself up from all ends. I take too much on, I extend the hours that I keep, I do way more reading and research than actual writing and I make list upon list of things to do, most of which I never even get to. I waste a lot of time and energy. But then, somehow, I BURST THROUGH!!! Like a beacon of light on the foggiest night, I will emerge victorious!!! And for that brief moment - whether it is actually writing something and getting it out there, paying a bill, getting a new job, getting booked for a movie, etc. - I feel as though the possibilities are endless; like I can do anything.

And the truth is, WE CAN do just about anything. We humans are AMAZING creatures. We just cannot be our own worst enemies. We have to live with a sense of purpose and drive and work hard to achieve our dreams. We have to believe that we can make it through anything. I mean, really... what's the other option? Give up, lay down, and die? No thanks.

I push and I fight. I do. Hence why I am writing this now. I remind myself what all this means to me; the blog, the people I've met, the people I've helped, the writing, the freedom, the creativity, the art, the rewarding hard work, the joy... and so when I am not writing as much as I should (as I have been doing...) I come here, back to the beginning, to the MAIN BLOG, my roots... and I remind myself. And I write, and the words fly from my fingers as they move across the keys and I reboot, revitalize, and am reborn yet again into my ever crazy hippie, bohemian, free-spirit world!

And so it won't matter that I don't make what I made as a teacher, or that my rent is 2 months behind, or that I don't eat every day...

WHY?

Because money doesn't fuel my life, a secure job doesn't do it for me either, and I don't care if I eat everyday or get regular sleep. I am an ARTIST! A creative soul! A HIPPIE, BOHEMIAN, FREE-SPIRIT who just needs to be revitalized from time to time and reminded that THIS is what matters - the creativity, the love, the peace, the helping of others, the release, the feeling of really knowing who you are...

So hopefully this means I will be writing more again. I'm definitely ready for another rebirth. ;)

Peace and Love,
Meagan

My Hippie, Bohemian, Free-Spirit Lifestyle in 2011

Happy New Year everyone!  How is 2011 treating you so far?  This modern day hippie/bohemian/free-spirit is doing pretty well so far this year.  I was a little worried there at the end of December, when January 1st was rolling around and I still didn't have rent money... but just as things usually do for me, it worked out somehow!  Now I am actually getting unemployment money, making a little more money with my online writing, and I am able to actually have the time to seek other employment that is suitable for me.  (Though... I am still not sure what kind of employment is suitable for me!)
Most importantly though, I am making sure that I am continuing to become a better person in 2011.  And I'm starting close to home; with the people who I always seem to hurt the most: my family.  In 2010, I missed birthdays, I cancelled things at the last minute, and I didn't communicate with my mom, dad, sister, and bro-in-law more than once a week sometimes.  That is simply unacceptable!
My biggest problem is that I tend to give and give and give to friends and strangers and then there is simply not much left for my family, and this isn't fair.  So I need to find some balance (something that is VERY hard for me.)
I am improving already though; I celebrated my mom's birthday with my whole family, I have talked to my mom and dad on the phone and in person several times, and I just went to a game night at my sister's house, hosted by her and my new bro-in-law.  So.... it's progress.
Even though my family doesn't quite understand that I would rather live out of my car than move home (it's something about the crazy bohemian belief in freedom, creativity, and the "open spirit" I think) or that I don't want to work just for money but to feel empowered, creative, and fulfilled; or why exactly I dress the way I do; I know that my family loves me and I need to show them my love in return.
This does not mean that I am going to stop giving to friends and strangers.  I couldn't stop that either!  I am of the belief that I have a life mission to spread peace, love, and creativity to this world, so I cannot give up on that ever! Ever!!
So it comes back to balance.  Perhaps if I get back into Pilates, I can find a little balance (and keep my bod smokin'!)
What else am I working on besides this "balance?"  Well, I would like to see some of my art reach the world on a bigger scale. (My "art" being my writing, my music, my acting, modeling, and performing, and my actual art and arts and crafts.)  How to do that is the next question!!
I mean... "art" is very important to a modern day hippie, bohemian, and/or free-spirit, and I am no exception to this.  As Laren Stover said in Bohemian Manifesto: A Field Guide to Living on the Edge (this is NOT verbatim) bohemians want to be known for their work, for their "art," even if it is not until later in life or after death (though most want a bit of fame while they are young and really able to live it up and enjoy it!)  I am not an exception to this either.  From a young age I had dreams of fame.  I wanted to be a country singer, then a Broadway star, then a top selling author, a poet, an artist, a pop singer, a model, an Oscar winner, a famous blogger, a world peacemaker, etc... the only "non-fame" role I have ever pursued was "teacher."  But even teachers can go on to become famous! (Sheryl Crow and Tim Gunn anyone?)
So what am I really after here?  Recognition for my art? Money? Fame? Acceptance? Peace and love?  I think it may be a combination of all of the above.
So we'll see what 2011 has to offer this modern hippie, bohemian, free-spirit.  Will I gain balance?  Will I make a difference in the world?  Will I become rich and famous and bigger than Justin Bieber? (Probably not...) We'll see...
Peace and Love,
Meagan

By the way, speaking of Tim Gunn (as I did above)... I am reading Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Lessons for Making It Work and really enjoying it.  His point of view is interesting, but actually pretty basic: people should be good to one another (and have good manners!)  So if you're looking for another book to add to your reading list, I would suggest checking this one out.

Fun Photos From Winter Break Thus Far... A Glimpse into the Life of the Modern Bohemian

A People's Picture

As a Modern Bohemian, I love the concept of A People's Picture, a blog that, as the blogmaster describes, "seeks to give average people a chance to be creative anonymously, to shine in secret. I leave disposable cameras around with a note asking the finder to take a picture..."

These pictures then get posted on the blog. It is an exciting project to me. It's creative, simple yet complex at the same time, and deals with human activity and emotion as art. I can't wait to see more. Check it out:

A People's Picture

The Village Voice

If you are a Modern Bohemian (or think you could be) and you don't know about The Village Voice, then it's about time you do. It's a bit too "mainstream" anymore to be truly Bohemian, but it still has it's moments. (Some of you may remember it's mention in the musical RENT during La Vie Boheme.)

Here's what Wikipedia has to say about it:

The Village Voice is a free weekly newspaper in New York City, United States featuring investigative articles, analysis of current affairs and culture, arts reviews and events listings for New York City. It is also distributed throughout the United States on a pay basis.

It was the first and is arguably the best known of the arts-oriented tabloids that have come to be known as alternative weeklies, though its reputation has been unstable since a recent buyout by publishing conglomerate New Times Media. The turbulent times its writers have covered has often been matched by the intrigue in its own offices, most recently including the firing of several high-profile contributors and a scandal over a fabricated story in 2005, the year the paper turned 50.

The Voice's spirit can be captured in its 1980s advertising slogan: "Some people swear by us...other people swear AT us."

Check out The Village Voice today.

Jonathan Waud

This modern Bohemian loves fashion and photography. I think models can be muses for photographers and can create amazing art. My favorite model of the moment is without a doubt Jonathan Waud from Make Me a Supermodel (season 2). He is just amazing! The fact that he didn't win the show is crazy, but it's definitely not the end of the line. Jonathan has a career ahead of him as a supermodel... I'm sure of it.

Need proof of his amazing abilities... check out some of his photos from the season here. Also, check out his blog here.

My Style

I have an emotional connection with my clothes. They are comfortable, they appeal to my sense of beauty and art, they flatter my body, and they allow me to express myself in ways that I wouldn't be able to otherwise.

In case you haven't seen a whole lot of pictures of me yet, I'll let you in on a little secret... I dress like a Hippie, Bohemian, Free-Spirit. I wear clothes and accessories I've made, I shop second hand and thrift, I turn things into clothing that are not originally clothing items, I wear head scarves and hats and sometimes necklaces, I love peace signs, and hemp, and pleather, I wear jeans until they rip to pieces and then I wear them some more, I adore leggings, dresses, boots, moccasins, and old sweaters, I love to mix and match patterns and colors, and I never limit myself.
Fashion is fun, and it is an artistic form of personal expression that I am very grateful for.