PonchoMeg: The Modern Bohemian is feeling down... but working on feeling better

So... I've been kinda sick for a few days and this is the second time in a month I have been sick like this.  This makes me worry.  You see, I have always had medical problems, and for the past 7 years or so, it's been really bad.  But ever since I went 100% gluten-free last December, my health has been improving.  I have gotten sick less, gotten fewer weird conditions, and have been able to actually lose weight because I have actually had some energy.  Now all of a sudden, it seems like my health is sliding backwards on me and like I said, it makes me worry.
It probably doesn't help that I don't have any health insurance.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love my lifestyle now; freelance writing, doing extra work for movies and tv, performing, doing odd jobs, and working on my blog.  But the problem with this way of living is that insurance is hard to come by, and so is money.  As a teacher, I was paid well AND I had amazing insurance, so sometimes I wonder if I should just go back to that to give me some security.
But the problem is... I don't fit well into that kind of world.  I am terrible with the 9-5, terrible at dealing with bosses and catty co-workers, and I disagree with so much of what is happening in the public school systems.  So where does that leave me?
Well... I have to make more happen for myself.  That's what I've decided.  If I can't afford health insurance, then I need to make more money. So... I am on the hunt for a tolerable part time job, I am writing up a storm online on List My 5 and some of my other writing sites, and I am thinking of getting a manager to help to get me some higher paying jobs in television and movies.  We'll just have to see how it all goes.
In the meantime, I am feeling pretty down... but it is motivating me.
I may never be completely healthy, and I may just have to deal with that, but I can make a better future for myself.  And maybe getting sick is just the kick in the butt I need to do just that.
Peace and Love,
Meagan

Children

Whitney had it right. "I believe the children are our future... teach them well, and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside." So true.

Children are beautiful. They imagine, wonder, question, learn, play, and feel everything so strongly. They are curious, loving, funny, and inspiring.

As a teacher, one of my favorite things is when a student asks me a question that I never thought that they would ask. I actually like being surprised by abstract thoughts and ideas or just things that I never considered. The children are our future, so we must teach them well like Whitney said, but more importantly... I think we must remember all that they teach us.

They inspire us to be more humble, kind, compassionate, empathetic, curious, aware, and fun.

We were outside the other day and one of my roommates, K., said that she liked to revert to childish activities like coloring with sidewalk chalk and playing games like 4 square. I feel her. I like to "revert" sometimes too. It comes from the life lessons I've learned from the students; relax, have fun, leave responsibility behind and "revert." But I do wonder... why is it "reverting?" Why can't adults just enjoy the things that they enjoyed as kids? What's so wrong with that?

Here's something I loved as a kid and still love very much: The Land Before Time. I used to watch that movie every day in kindergarten. It's amazing. And yes, maybe I love it so much now because I loved it then, but that's okay. It still moves me. And yes... it is a children's movie. So what?

As I watched it again recently, I was humbled and I felt so much emotion. At one pivotal moment involving the main character's mom (a brontosaurus by the way) I was moved to tears. Laugh if you want, but I was emotionally stirred. I texted my mother. I said "I'm watching the Land Before Time and it made me miss my mommy. I love you mom." I'm a cheeseball... but I meant it.

Amazing how childish things bring you back to center. My mom and I disagree a lot. Sometimes we get a little tense towards one another. But the thing is... she's my mom, and I love her, and she did a lot for me. So no matter what... I will always come back. I have to. My mom is a part of me.

"I believe the children are the future, teach them well and let them lead the way..."

Well, I am not a parent yet, but I am my mother's child, which means that I am the future, and I will lead the way. I'll lead the way home; I'll lead the way to the playground; I'll lead the way to the sidewalk where K. and I are drawing cats, peace signs, and other fun things; I'll lead the way to innocence, to learning, to hope, to magic, love, and miracles. I'll lead the way. I hope you follow, at least until you too can lead...